"This is what it looks like to be afraid and brave at the same time." - Lisa-Jo Baker
This is what it looks like to run away and towards love.
This is what love looks like.
This is what ordinary and everyday and routine and scheduled and too many balls in the air looks like.
This is what happy and crazy and blue and worried and calm and anxious and all wrapped up in you looks like.
This is what sibling love and fighting and playing and tearing us down to build us back up looks like.
It's what I live through.
In the ordinary.
In the everyday.
During the difficult moments and hours and days and weeks.
During the moments of love and honest laughter and wonderment.
This is what happy looks like.
It's what brand new mom looks like.
It's what brand new love looks like.
I fight through the fear.
I attempt to be brave.
I talk about strength and try to show you what a strong woman can do.
I fight and walk through fear.
I do it for me, I do it for them, I do it for him.
I walk through the terror and fight the nightmares in my head.
I attempt to be strong...
I attempt to be who I know you already are.
This is what mother looks like...
It's happy and calm and crazy and good and terrible and insane and shaking and awakening and all that is good wrapped in you.
But, I know, I realize that it will all end and I need to keep a part of me too.
I need to recognize who I am at the end of this.
I need to be proud.
This is what being afraid and being brave at the same time looks like...