As I raise two tiny humans and let them go into this world.
As I prepare you for school and friendships and relationships.
As I think about the day that you leave for college and all the worry I will have wondering how it is all going.
As I let go, I want you to know some things...
Not just tomorrow, not just when you are big, but starting right now.
Any story you feel is not a part of your book, is not your ending,
you change course, you write another page, and you get back to your story.
The one you are meant to write, the one you have control over.
Any situation you feel isn't right, doesn't fit into who you are and what you know to be good,
you use your voice to say no
use it to speak up for yourself and others,
and you walk away.
At any point in time, you are allowed to find your light and leave darkness behind.
At any point, you can and should redefine and take notice of who you are, who you are spending your time with, and where you are in this world.
At any point, you can change your mind, and something you thought once sounded like a good idea, might not anymore.
At any point, your life can and probably will change, but that doesn't mean you are changing your core, that means you are just changing direction.
Now, do not confuse this with when things get hard, or boring, or ordinary, you walk away.
Because that is not the same thing.
The goal, the vision, is happiness.
The overall feeling of your life, should be happy and you should be giving that joy out so it lights others' darkness.
However, the goal is also greatness and as I just heard last week from someone giving a speech to new college grads,
sometimes, to be great, means you are unhappy.
Sometimes, to accomplish greatness, you have to walk through unhappy times, moments, days.
See, your day to day, your week to week, your minute to minute, cannot always be happy.
It's just not possible.
It's not.
Because to work and work hard for something, can be at times really hard, really scary, really worrisome and none of that equals happy.
Even in your relationships, the troubles you go through, means there will be times you are struggling
to find your joy and your happy.
And in order to really appreciate the glorious light and love on the other side, you have to sometimes go through that dark
and make it to the other side,
together.
Because all of that is the roller-coaster of every relationship.
All of that is what you do to stay and work on what is right.
So no, I don't think it's always wise for you to always walk away,
I won't always agree when I feel you gave up,
too quickly or too easily.
But for you, you know you.
You know you better than I do which is hard for me to admit
but you do.
And you will know right there in your gut, when this isn't your story to tell, when you aren't in love with who you are in this story,
and when it is your story to keep writing, even when the writing is getting hard.
When the words are struggling to come, but you know you have to keep trying to find them.
And in this world that is trying to make us feel guilty for not being 100% happy with every second of every day
but is also so demanding with perfection and doing everything with all you have
and also wants hard workers with dual income families and perfect parenting and volunteers that have nothing but time and clean homes and dinner together and traditions and quality time and just all of our time
well, it can go to hell.
Because you are allowed to tell it to go to hell.
And tell it, you have to be a little unhappy for a little while so you can work towards your dream
or relationships have ups downs and most awful the steady hum of an engine in which you have to work to find love and commitment and affection again
or life is daunting and exhausting and so tonight, while in my sweats, I am going to cry until I feel better.
And I am going to let those dishes pile up and order take out.
And am going to tell them to put their homework aside for tonight
and we are going to just watch TV.
Yeah, that's what I need tonight world, because perfectly happy doesn't exist.
But you are also allowed to tell someone that isn't loving you enough, I deserve better.
And you are allowed to never feel guilty about loving yourself and taking care of yourself
because dammit putting that mask on yourself first is the best way so let's stop pretending it's not.
And you are allowed to tell the world, I have to live through this time of have tos, to get to me.
And you are allowed to breakdown and mourn a loss
of a job
or a person
or a feeling
or of who you once were and are not anymore
or of children aging.
You are allowed to be happy
you need to make sure happy is the goal
but you need to match it with being great
and I can't imagine anything less than greatness from you.
