One does not ‘find oneself’ by pursuing one’s self, but on the contrary by pursuing something else and learning through some discipline or routine … who one is and wants to be. - May Sarton
Oh, but say it again!
Whisper sweet nothings in my ear about routine and discipline and finding yourself in the pursuit of something else, something outside of you.
Oh May Sarton, it's as if you climbed into my mind and took a look around and came up with poetry that you wrote just for me.
Yes, say it again.
It was in the pursuit of my need to leave that I found myself.
It was in the pursuit of my work that I found myself.
It was in the pursuit of finding more than my work, that I found myself.
Yes, say it again.
It was in the pursuit of finding a family that I found myself.
It was in the pursuit of finding joyful, comfortable, real love, that I found myself.
It was in the pursuit of seeing if and how hard I can do hard things, that I found myself.
It was in the pursuit of proving myself, first to them, then to me, that I found myself.
It was in the pursuit of no longer proving anything to anyone, including me, that I found myself.
Yes, say it again.
It was in the pursuit of balance, that I really found myself.
Yes, say it again.
It was and is through discipline.
It was and is through the routine.
It was and is through the freedom that comes with knowing what I am doing and how and when.
It was and is through love...my love.
Through others, my community, my people, my heart, my love of others, and my need to fill up a loss, I find myself...again and again and again.
Yes, say it again.
