Alright lovies, I know you know and can feel this but here is the absolute truth...
I love to work.
I always have.
Even when the jobs were just jobs and not careers.
Even when I felt like I was drowning and it was clear that I hated it. I loved it even then.
- I love to work.
- I'm good at work.
- I'm capable.
- I have a groove.
- I have a flow.
- I see the big picture and I see the little details to get me there.
- I see how the pieces can come together.
- I feel good doing it, something comes alive in me.
- I feel invigorated by the challenge. I love stepping up, honestly, I love stepping up.
I love it so much it's what I would do in my spare time. It's what I actually do in my spare time. If I have even a minute to spare, I'm right back working.
I love it so much it's unhealthy, I have to remind myself I'm more than work. I'm more than work and working. I need more.
I love it so much that you have to remind me that I'm more than work. You have to remind me that I need more than work. You have to tell me to come to eat, come watch a movie. Let's go take a walk, will you read with me? Do you have time for a reading date? Will you play now? I love it so much I need you to peel me away. And for that, I'm sorry but I'm also so thankful.
I know it's not fair that you need to do this for me, and for that, I'm so sorry. I know this should not be your job, and for that, I am so sorry. But I'm so thankful that you remind me how much more there is to this life of ours. I'm so thankful that you fill my life with other. I'm so thankful that you pull me away. And here is what I have learned.
Nothing is that important.
Most importantly, I am not that important.
Most things can definitely wait.
My business will be fine, my clients are fine, my team, fine.
It feels like life and death to me because I created that in my mind.
It's not my only love.
It's not the only thing I'm good at.
I do love work. But I started this business because I couldn't do what I was doing anymore. I loved work to actual death and I was the one that felt like she was dying.
I have no idea how you and those that love me stood by me. I have no idea how family and framily and friends and my squad did not walk away. I have no idea how or why you lovies were so patient with me. I have no idea how your little understood what I was working towards. And now that I'm here, thank you for reminding me that I can love it with all of my heart, but to leave so much more room for our life.